New Thought on Finding Your Center

On this very hot day in mid California, I was out trying to make some semi-dried porcelain turn itself into a pot. It was reluctant, at best. There were spots deep inside that were drier than others and I could feel them but I thought I could work around them. So I centered the clay pretty well, thought I detected a teensy wobble, but ignored it. I brought the clay out and started to bring the sides up and that was simple.... and I LOVE that part, it's like magic.......the clay just slips between your fingers. Always good.

So the sides come up and they're even, everything is good. But I had to keep messing with it.... tidying up the runny stuff from the sides, sopping up the excess water from the inside, thinking maybe I could squeeze up another inch or two on the sides, and therein lies the problem. Why can't I just leave well enough alone?

Nope, I pulled the sides up a bit more and it started to get wobbly. I kept trying to correct it and it went well for a while until I flinched and whooooosh, the whole top slid dangerously at a serious right angle in a fraction of a second. DANG IT! And it was so perfect.

So I tried to fool myself into thinking that I could just pick up the side and smooth it out and it would be okay, but no. I had to yank most of the clay off until I was down to a few inches.

I'll try again I thought. So always the experimentor, I centered that part, and put the heel of my palm into the middle and gently shoved out. I figured I would at least get a small platter.

But I notice that the piece is just a teensy bit off center, but I am too lazy to fix it, so there's this extra little lump of clay that goes off to one side along the rim, not bad, but it's there. I can see it but I want to ignore it.

I stop the wheel and cut it off figuring it would be okay. I continue on and the little lump around the rim forms again. I try for the third time. Same thing happens. Well now I KNOW that the clay is off center and no matter what I do, it's not going to throw right. No respector of persons.

Life is full of these little analogies. It screams for us to just "GET IT"... That platter spoke volumes to me. When we have a bump in the road, relationships, alcohol, drugs, substance issues, whatever, just cutting it off, is not always enough to correct the problem.

That platter showed me that you can trim the obvious away again and again, but eventually you have to rip the whole lump of clay off the bat and start over. You DO have control.

Anything less than getting to where the weak point began, will not suffice. You'll just keep working and working to create something that is atop a wrong foundation.

I tried to take the easy way out to get that platter to work, and then I thought about people I know who struggle to fix things, get their lives to work, but never address the real issue. They never scrape the mess off the bat, gather up their supplies and tools, assess them and start over. And I wonder, will they be doomed to repeat the process over and over? I hope not. I pray not.

In any case.....I do have something fun to share. I made these birds yesterday, and I love them!

Squeezing my day

Like a freshly picked orange, I am usually up and ready to see how much I can squeeze out of my day first thing in the morning.

In my effort to become at least a passable potter, I have to throw, and throw and throw, which I love mind you, but the thought occured to me the other day when I was talking to a friend - this whole 'work for yourself' thing is not without pitfalls.

"GOING" to work is one thing, you go there, you might snivel and stick your foot in the sand sometimes, you might even grumble, but at the end of the pay period, you collect your check and you don't give a second thought of how exactly that company pays you as long as it's a cashable check. So you don't really have to LOVE it, you don't even have to like it, and you might even grumble, or maybe even be considered company subversive - but in any case, they paid you, you can buy pizza, maybe a movie ticket - call it a day.

But Hoe-Dee-DO......working for yourself - WHOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLEE other story. You can't swipe aspirin from yourself, you'd surely better not bitch about yourself to your(self) boss, and you can't go napping in the break room either because you might have to fire yourself. There is no pocketing of pens, no pilfering of paper clips, and there will be no excessive copies being made on company time. Nope, no perks here.

However - working for myself does have it's perks .... I roll out of bed, stick my hair up in a paint brush, tie an apron and head out to ponder 25 lbs of clay and what can I get out of it. Who can SAY that? Not many. So by 7:30 - 8 a.m. I'm up to my elbows (most days) in mud, well clay, but mud sounded more earthy, and maybe I've even gotten a few pots out of the deal before I break to make my husband breakfast.

That's the good part. The part I love. The part for which I drag myself out of bed.

But then there's the part when I grab a cup of coffee, that I have to do, like check email and try not to be distracted by all the new male enhancement products, how to go to school for a $100,000 a year job without it costing me anything, and ooo ooo baby, I want to be your friend, ads that I need to delete before I find out if I've gotten any orders for my pottery.

Back outside, a bisque load comes out of the kiln most days (because it's so tiny) and then I'm scrambling for inspiration before starting to paint. I don't know why but I get really intimidated by the blank pot. Some get intimidated by the blank sheet of paper or the blank screen, if they're writers. "Poo," I say.........I can talk forever, I'll talk for days, and I may even stay on topic, but putting color on a blank pot can be scary. You don't know what you're going to get to begin with and if it turns out ugly you have to do it again, otherwise you've just wasted your canvas, so to speak.

Phone calls, answering email, packaging orders, double checking to see if the product is paid for, printing out labels, working on new items, thinking of new items, writing descriptions, feeding my family, PLUS trying to complete a product so that maybe, with luck you have several so you actually have a 'product line'........so, all this to say - Do not underestimate having a job!

Hopefully this didn't sound too random...... I'm on my way to becoming who I've dreamed of being.

Thanks for listening.

Kate